November 22nd, 2010 by sugig
The quality of our lives is often based on our circumstances. How those circumstances influence our lives is often based on how we are affected emotionally. And how we allow those circumstances to affect our emotional state is definitely based on perspective.
I believe perspective to be the secret to true happiness. The mental state in which we live, whether happy or sad, patient or frustrated, relaxed or anxious, is often due to whatever is going on in our lives at that particular time, whether that time be a second, an hour, a month or a year. At least, that is what we believe it to be due to. However, situations are simply triggers to mental states. Ultimately how we feel is really up to us, isn’t it? Our brain is producing the chemicals which in turn tell the rest of our body to act or feel a certain way. Our brain,our body, our feelings, our emotions. We do have a choice, we don’t have to be slaves to circumstances, and that choice is to change our perspective until it suits our desires.
Let’s not kid ourselves, emotions are very powerful things. They can throw us into hysterical fits of laughter or send two countries into war. To think we can control them is hardly realistic, those brain chemicals react incredibly fast and have a very powerful effect. However, we don’t need to control the response, we need to control the circumstances creating the response. Again, we need to decide what our perspective is going to be.
One of the best examples I can think of is unexpected traffic. You’re on your way somewhere, need to be there for a certain time, everything is going according to schedule when BAM!, you turn the corner and end up in bumper to bumper traffic as far as the eye can see. For most of us the initial reaction is to probably swear, a lot, then see if you can’t back up, wonder why you let this happen, realize you’re going to be late then just sit there in a pissed off mood all the way until you start moving again. Then even once you start moving you will probably still be frustrated because you’re running late and it just keeps getting worst and worst. It doesn’t have to be this way. Here are some ways you can create some different scenarios for the same situation if you learn how to change your perspective:
Once you hit traffic ask yourself the following questions:
* Could I have avoided this traffic? How could you when you didn’t know it was coming?
* Is there anything I can do to make it go away? Of course there isn’t, there are too many cars everywhere and you are but one among many all facing the same problem.
* And the most important question: Is my being upset and frustrated going to help in any way to make things move along faster? And of course the answer is no, it will not.
If you ask yourself those questions right away, you may find your perspective suddenly changing a little bit. To take it a step further, try some of the following:
* Look around you at the other people stuck with you. Look at the man blowing his horn when you know it is useless to do so. Look at the woman with the scowl on her face and how irritated she looks. Then ask yourself if you really want to be like those people? Or do you want to be better than them?
* If you find out the traffic was caused by an accident, tell yourself better to be a little bit late then to be the one in the accident and never get there at all.
* If you have a big day ahead of you, sit back, put some good music on and appreciate the fact that you get a little extra down time that you weren’t expecting to plan out your day.
The trick is to not wait too long to take these steps. Our brains tend to continue down the path they started on, so if that frustrated state continues for too long, it will be difficult to recognize it and change it. But if you attack it right away, you will surprised how quickly your perspective begins to change.
The example I gave works for everything, you just have to be ready for it. Like everything else, it takes practice. So the next time you’re “stuck in traffic”, think of it as an unforeseen opportunity to work on changing your perspective. Remember these 3 important steps:
1. Recognize that you are being negative and acknowledge it
2. Ask yourself what good is this negativity doing for you in this situation?
3. Look for a way to put a positive twist on the situation, no matter how ridiculous it may seem at the time.
Remember, our emotions are a bunch of chemicals balanced in a certain way. As quickly as they can shift to the negative, they can shift right back to the positive, you just have to tell them to do it.